Shikamaru Says
by strawberryninja526
Summary: I'm bad at summaries, but here goes nothing! Shikamaru and Iruka go to a chuunin program, and while they are there Shikamaru gets into some interesting situations. Not to mention, what they had to go through to get there. ShikaxOC


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto sadly. No matter how hard I try Kishimoto-sensei won't give Naruto up. **

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic so just tell me what you think. You can be as kind or as unkind as you wish any type of feed back is good! I hope you enjoy!

**A Troublesome Start**

"I am surprised you decided to come with me, Shikamaru," Iruka chuckled as he rested his arm on Shikamaru's shoulder.

"I was just bored, and my parents thought it would be a good experience for me. Those are the only reasons why I decided to come," Shikamaru said as he shoved his hands into his pants' pockets.

"So in other words your mother forced you to come with me?" Iruka asked him as he removed his arm from his shoulder.

"Yeah, you guessed right," Shikamaru said as he let out a sigh and stepped off the porch of his house; suitcase in hand. "Well let's get this over with, Iruka."

"Well, if you are sure you are ready. You do know that we won't be returning to the village for some time now, right?" Iruka questioned as he grabbed Shikamaru's suitcase and hoisted it onto their traveling cart.

"Exactly how long does _some time now_ mean?" Shikamaru asked as he caste a horrified look at Iruka.

"Didn't your parents tell you that this program for chunnin we are going to is a three months program?" Iruka asked the now shocked Shikamaru.

Shikamaru was gaping stupidly at Iruka, the words Iruka spoke bouncing around in his head.

"I am going to take that as a no?" Iruka muttered to himself and pretended to be very busy tying on the suitcases to the cart.

Shikamaru then started to regain his composure. He closed his mouth and anger started to swell up inside him as he marched up to his house. He was just about to open the door, and tell his parents there was no way in hell he was going to some three month program; when his mom opened the door.

"Now Shikamaru, I just wanted to make sure you had everything before you left; you know boxers, toothbrush, clothes, and some snacks." Shikamaru's mom said.

Shikamaru's face started to twist with anger and before he knew what he was doing the words just started coming out.

"I have everything I need for my three months trip! Thanks so much for your concern, or is that a lie to just like the one you told me about this thing only lasting a couple of days!" Shikamaru shouted at his mom.

"Well, we couldn't tell you the truth because we knew you wouldn't do it! All we want is for you to participate in some non-Go events! For once in your life go out there and socialize with other shinobi! Who knows, maybe you might actually learn something form this experience that might help you in the future. Or you can stay at home and become just like your father stuck with a wife like me!" Shikamaru's mom shouted back.

"Fine, I'll go. The last thing I want in this world is to have a nagging wife like you!" Shikamaru said while stomping towards the village exit to catch up to Iruka.

"Have fun! See you in three months, I love you!" Shikamaru's mom said while waving goodbye to the pair as they exited the village.

Shikamaru was still fuming from his argument with his mom. He could not believe that they had lied to him like that. He would make sure to repay the favor, but for now he had to worry about just what was in store for him at this program.

"I can't believe I am going through with this. This program better be good Iruka, or I am going to flip shit!" Shikamaru said as he clenched his fist.

"Don't worry; you are going to have a great time. They have Go tournaments, and you can do what ever you want after you go to all the lectures for the day. I am sure that it will grow on you, just relax and have some fun like your mother suggested." Iruka said with a big smile on his face.

"I can hardly wai…." Shikamaru was cut off when he collided with a low hanging tree branch and got a face full of leaves.

Shikamaru spat out the leaves and whipped off the spit that formed in the corners of his mouth.

"Did I forget to mention that there are a lot of low tree branches on this route?" Iruka asked as he twisted his head back to see what happened to Shikamaru.

"Yeah, you did, but don't worry about it. I forgive you," Shikamaru said as he ripped a handful of leaves off a nearby branch while Iruka's back was turned.

Shikamaru slowly snuck up behind the oblivious chunnin with leaves in hand. Then using all of his stealth, popped the collar of Iruka's vest and jammed the leaves down into it.

"SPIDER!" Iruka squealed as he leaped around in a panic.

Iruka tore off his vest and stomped on it until he was satisfied that there was no spider to be found, then dusted it off, and put it back on.

Shikamaru was chuckling with delight at Iruka's not so flattering display of dislike of creepy crawlies.

"Relax Iruka! They were just leaves, no big bad spider is going to come and get you while I am with you!" Shikamaru said hugging his stomach.

"Very funny," Iruka snapped.

All of a sudden Shikamaru's eyes widened in horror as he looked beyond Iruka.

"Iruka what is that behind you?" Shikamaru asked while pointing his finger at something behind Iruka.

"Nice try Shikamaru, but that is the oldest trick in the book," Iruka said while picking up the cart with their suitcases on it.

Iruka had lost his grasp on it when he thought the spider was trying to get him.

Shikamaru, no longer concerned with saving Iruka, then sprinted away slashing his way through the forested path as fast as he could. This strange behavior caused Iruka to look back, and be face to face with the biggest woman he had ever laid eyes on. In her one hand her chubby fingers were wound around a sign that read:

_Can't find someone to have adult fun with then look no farther I am all yours, Bitch!_

"Hell no!" Iruka screamed as he shot off after Shikamaru with the colossal hooker plowing through the woods right after them.

"Iruka, how much longer does it take to get to the place where the program is held?" Shikamaru asked when he saw that Iruka had caught up to him.

"We still have about eight miles to go," Iruka explained with a panicked look on his face.

"Shit. We are going to need to come up with some kind of plan to get rid of her. There is no way in hell that I am going to sprint for eight miles because a desperate hooker is chasing me," Shikamaru yelled over to Iruka.

"Do you have any ideas, because right now I have nothing?" Iruka questioned Shikamaru with a pleading voice.

"Actually I think one just hit me," Shikamaru said as he looked at the two conveniently positioned trees ahead of them.

"I get it. I think that should work out just fine," Iruka agreed as he caught on to the plan.

Iruka and Shikamaru put their plan into action as they both went through the two trees with ease passing right through. Then it was the hooker's turn. She tried to plow her way through the trees, but her girth wedged into the gape between the trees. There she was stuck between the two trees, arms flaying in all directions.

"That was a close one," Iruka breathed as both of them came to a halt in a clearing.

"It was way too close for comfort. This trip is becoming way more troublesome than I thought it was going to be." Shikamaru said as he brushed off a leaf that clang to his shirt.

"Let's hope this trip gets better when we arrive," Iruka said.

"You said it," Shikamaru grumbled.

"Oh, shit!" Iruka said under his breath.

"What?" Shikamaru questioned.

"I left our suitcases in that clearing where the hooker ambushed us. We have to go back and get them." Iruka groaned.

"Mendokusee," Shikamaru mumbled as the two chuunin slunk back through the woods.

**A/N**: Please tell me what you think. :)


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